6 Things Couples Should Keep in Mind Before They Adopt
Adoption is seen as an act of nobility, everybody wants their own child and there is nothing wrong with that, it’s natural but there are so many children out there longing for love and care so many couples decide to adopt, that can be for any reason. Before adopting certain points should be kept in mind and thought about. Below are 6 points you must think about and ask yourself questions related to these points. Once you’ve got the answer, and then only move forward.
1. You must prepare yourself mentally:
Adoption is a huge responsibility where you take responsibility for another human being, it is necessary for both the partners to be united. People mostly adopt because they have been childless for a long time in spite of trying several times while some adopt a second or third one, the reason being whatever. There should be no second thoughts. Take as much time you want. You may visit a counselor or talk to other parents who have adopted.
2. Inform family and friends about the decision:
When you adopt a child the bond formed is not just restricted to you and your partner. Just like any biological, your adopted kid will form a bond with everyone you are connected with, especially family and friends, so you better talk to them. The elders might have problems, but you must make them understand the importance of adoption and try to come up with a unanimous decision.
3. Accept the child with its shortcomings:
Once you’ve confidently made a decision to adopt you have to prepare yourself for the fact that kid you will adopt may have some shortcomings. If you are adopting an elder kid he/she might be attached to his/her home with other children or the adoption agency. If you are adopting an infant, he/she might have suffered some trauma either during birth or at infancy causing malnutrition or psychological distress.
Chances are also of developmental delays or congenital problems which you might discover later. In such a situation you have to show love, support, and sympathy. Understand it is not their fault. With love and affection, every obstacle can be overcome.
4. Be open to your child about his/her origin:
You must also prepare yourself that you have to make your kid understand his/her origin. You must wait for him/her to reach the age of maturity. Do not keep it a secret instead, assure him/her that it makes no difference from where he/she came from and will be loved unconditionally.
5. Age of the child
Many to be parents prefer to adopt infants. There are chances they might not have an option to do. They must be open to adopting older children. Understand the difference between adopting children from the wiser age group as compared to the infants. Remember one thing, many parents adopt infants and the elder ones end up staying in the children’s home. It may not be easy but you must give it a good thought.
6. Give the child time to adapt to the new life:
If you are adopting a toddler or a younger child it becomes easier to take care of the child but the child takes time to adapt his/her new life and surrounding. Most children come with their own share of early childhood experiences like abandonment, social neglect or trauma due to which they take time. If you think you may end up saying things like “We got you here and this is how you are going to repay us,” then you might want to reconsider adopting. Till the time there is a sense of gratitude, they won’t make a place for the sense of ownership.